I'm still here and still working out but I need to revamp a few things.   Mainly my diet.  I'm not a terrible eater but I'm not really restricting myself either.  a typical day of eating for me is I usually have a smoothie or juice for breakfast...( veggies, fruit, coconut water, flax and chia seeds).  I then may have a boiled egg and a slice or two of buffalo turkey breast...in between I may eat a pack of orbit gum and then I won't eat again until dinner which most often consists of a meat and veggies.  I really don't thin that I'm eating enough and I also know that I'm going too long between meals.   right now, I'm all about focusing on nutrition.  I believe that I know what I need to do as far as my eating goes but you can never know enough.  I'll be doing some more research on nutrition, taking a closer look at my numbers so that I can know how much I should be eating.  I also plan to keep a close eye on what it is that I am actually eating and how much.  This should bring me some type of progress as it seems that i am constantly gaining and losing the same 5 pounds and I have been for quite some time.

My mother has cut back on her eating and has lost about 20 pounds without really doing too much. she's retired so when she isn't lying around she's picking up my kid and taking him from school to work and that's about it. I'm tired of being fat and self-conscious about the way that I look. I'm tired of hiding out from family and friends and trying not to be seen, I am so ready to get out of the 230's and into the 100's for good.  this will be my time and I'm starting right now!

Gettng it right,

Time to get with it and stick with it.

 I'm back again and have decided to really get serious with this weightloss.  I have been messing around for at least 14 yrs now losing and gaining the same 5 lbs.  the good thing is that I haven't gained any additional weight during that time but my weight  has been fluctuating between 230 and 235 for the past 14 years.   I'm extremely motivated but really need to work on my eating habits.  If I'm totally honest with myself, that is the real reason why I'm failing to see any progress, that and the fact that I haven't been able to get back into lifting in order to incorporate it back into my routine.

As fara s food is concerned,  I really think that I am not eating enough.  most days I'm not eating until 11 or noon and by that time I am starving.  I also have an addiction to chips and cheetos,  A lot fo times I will have that as it is quick and readily available.  so this time I will focus on changing my eating habits.  I'm good with smoothies and juices and have them fairly regularly.  I just need to get on some type of eating plan that doesn't really cut out any specific food groups so I won't feel deprived.

I also need to be more consistent with my workouts. I'm good with the cardio and have been doing Zumba regulary  but now I need to get  back into weight lifting.  I ordered a total gym knockoff by Weider and when it arrives,  it's on!

As I've mentioned before I am very competitive.  Everyone seems to be losing weight but me.  I have a cousin who has 5 kids and has managed to lose at least 30 lbs in a short amount of time and yes...I'm hating.  Granted  she didn't have nearly as much weight to lose as I do but she is in a bikin...a bikini Ya'll.  time to get my butt in gear.

I'm tired of hiding out, not going to see family members out fo fear of being the only FAT girl. I'm tired f not taking pics because of the way I look.  well that's not entirely true.  I love taking pics and I still do so constantly but no one will see them  lol.  At least not anyone who knows me  haha.

but anyway that is the plan and it starts today..well Monday because I have things to do but I will defintely get some form of work out in today!

That's all for now

I'll be posting regularly but I now have an instagram account where I am documenting my journey and addmittedly, it's addictive.!

Getting it right,

Yesterday, I experienced the dreaded wake up call

Yesterday was such a  wake up call for me...not that I really needed one as I do know just how fat I am but yesterday just seemed to take thing to a whole new level.  I just posted about how proud I am that I've managed to work out consistently last month and then this happens.

I went to a graduation yesterday and found myself having nothing to wear.  Of course, I put together several outfits in my my mind and even tried them on and felt that I looked good in them, however the mirror told a different story.  I ended up changing my white capris and striped belted blouse for black, dressier capris and a short sleeved (almost sleeveless)peasant top, which I also felt didn't look that great but was the lesser of two evils.  After the ceremony, I decided to take pictures with the graduate and lawd, I looked awful.  Now I've seen photos of myself often and recently as I do take before photos as well as progress photos.  I guess since I'm mostly unclothed in them..it was such a shock when I saw myself with clothes on and it was not a pretty sight.  Weird that I'm more accepting of my body unclothed than I am with clothes on  lol but anyway, those pictures have me seriously wondering what I am doing wrong in this journey.  I know that I need to change my eating habits and I do plan to work on that and I really hope to have some success.

 Someone finally said aloud what I always thought and have said before and that is..."why is everyone having success but me?"  I have a cousin who isn't nearly as big as I am who just started her journey and has already lost 25lbs.  She probably weighs about 140 at the most which gives you some idea of her starting point.  Granted, I don't know what she is doing but whatever it is it is working. I can workout and workout and still not drop a pound..even when I am paying attention to my diet and it is very frustrating.  I also see women who weigh way more than  I do(upper 200's and 300+ lbs) who have also managed to lose tons of weight and are now closer in weight to me.  It really gets to me sometimes. 

Back to the photos, I have a relative who loves to send pics to everybody so when I took my photo with the graduate...I asked  said relative not to take a pic of me because I didn't want it to be sent to anyone.  This person clearly had an attitude because I asked and replied "they know what you look like" (which I am well aware of since the people she intended to send the pics too were here a month or so ago and I took pic with them as well)  Needless to say, I found the comment hurtful but  true.  I'm embarrassed by the way I look and I didn't want people to see me.  There, I said it,  but to have  this relative say it made my blood boil. I was plotting evil things in my had to exact my revenge...lol.

Anyway, this was just weighing on me and I had to let it out and what better place to do that than here!

Getting it right,

Month 2...Hello June

Well, today is June second and wraps up month one of my fitness challenge/journey.  I can say that I am actually quite proud of myself.  As you know, I started this journey on May 5th and while I can't say that I've worked out every single day  since then, I can say that I managed to work out at least 3-5 days out of the week and sometimes even 7 days.  The downside is that I  didn't lose any weight other than the same 1 or 2 pounds that I keep gaining and losing over and over gain...yes, I know it's such a vicious cycle  but that is entirely my fault as I wasn't really regulating my nutrition at all...which is my goal for this month.

I'm going to incorporate some dietary changes and I will also attempt to log my meals for at least seven days this month so that I can have an idea of exactly how many calories I am consuming.  So far this morning I've had a green smoothie and a multi vitamin ( which I've discovered that I've been taking wrong all of this time)   I've been taking 1 caplet a day when the actual serving size is 3 caplets per day.  grrrr.  I shall learn to read directions next time.

I'm also going to incorporate more weightlifting  this month as I only did 3 days last month so my plans quickly fell by the wayside. Anyway, I'm heading off to my Zumba class. which starts at 8:30

 Getting it right,

I know that you guys are probably tired of me and my starting and stopping but yes,  Here I am again with a brand spanking new beginning.  I would have started on the first but I entered a 21 day free fitness study which is to begin today. Unfortunately, I was not one of the first fifty people to sign up for the study, and ( according to the guy that I spoke with yesterday when I inquired as to if and when I would hear something) I was not even one of the first 100 people to sign up since they took well over 100 participants.  Nevertheless, he took down my name and info in case they decide to add more to the study so it looks like i'm going it alone ...AGAIN.   I am disappointed that I won't be able to participate as I was looking forward to the stucture of the program.  Ah well, maybe next time.  I am a part of a 30 day fitness challenge on Facebook that began today as well so that is a good thing.  I'm not really following the workous step by step and am sort of winging it according to how I feel.  The work outs for the challenge consist of both AM and PM workouts daily.  the AM workout is core arms and butt I believe and the PM workout is a Latin Cardio vido by a guy who is the "trainer" for the challenge ( although I'm not sure what his role is other than providing the video for the PM workout.

Anyway  my plan today was to substitute Zumba for the Latin Cardio as a class setting is much more motivational for me  and much more fun.  Like I said....that was the plan until I left my home at 7:30 this morning and planned to walk on the treadmill until Zumba started at 8:30.   When I arrived a looked at the schedule, i was surprised to see that the class wouldn't be starting until 9:45 and I do not have that much time to hang out at the gym so I did 20 minutes of HIIT  ont he treadmill as well as some additional walking while listening to my audio book and when all was said and done, I had walked an hour.  Go me!   lol  I still have to do the Pm workout since I switched them up but I think again I'm going to substitute this workout and split it up by body part...I don't think it's a good idea to work the same bodyparts daily with no rest in between in order to let the moscles recover and grow so I'm just going to do maybe Cathe Friedrich's STS  or p90x 3 or something like that.  ( I have plenty of choices and I have just about every beachbody workout there is as well as TaeBo..lol and The firm so  I'm good ont he home workout front.  anyway  that's a little update where I'm at with this fitness challenge.  and I still need to lose about 75 lbs.  Wish me luck!

Getting it right,

It's that time of the year again!

That's right , it's New Years Day! That time of year where we make our New Years Resolutions which most often includes some form of fitness. Well, I've decided not to make any this year, nor am I going to post about starting over and getting back on track. Why you ask? Because I've actually been working on my fitness goals( rather consistently I might add) since November. Yayyyy me. I've started small and have been working out at least 3 times a week. (Most times more, sometimes less) but I can say that I have been really consistent.

 My work out of choice thus far has been treadmill walking and Zumba which I absolutely love with the right teacher. Unfortunately, one of the better instructors has left and we have been inundated with substitutes until a permanent replacement is found which is no bueno. None have been able to match her energy and effectiveness while making it fun at the same time. What's even worse is the fact that the instructor who left, taught a class every single day of the week so it will be doubly hard to replace her. :( Granted, we did have a fabulous month long sub who was actually better than the original instructor, she had up to date music, fabulously choreographed routines and I could tell that she has an extensive dance background but alas she has left us and the permanent replacement didn't even make me sweat...which is saying a lot because I am a "sweater" haha.

Anyway, I think that its time for me to add in some weight training. so that will be my goal for this month. I think I may do weight training twice a week. Also, I need to change my eating as well. I will try to track my meals at least three days a week and work up to five this month. although I have numerous apps and such, I find it so difficult to do this. I was also thinking of adding in P90x3 or T25 not sure which one but I have both so we'll see.( I've tried Insanity and was done after the warm up lol) I have to work my way up to that.

 Getting it right,